Talking Through The Tears
by Tametiger
Summary: Bella has secrets that destroyed her life, can any one help her?
1. Chapter 1 Forks

**Disclaimer I own nothing except my imagination everything else is S.M's *sob***

**Big big thankyou to my amazing beta Orangegirlie **

Chapter 1 Forks

I pulled on my parka – my carry on item – before getting my luggage and heading to find Charlie. As I left the tiny airport I noticed the sky was its' usual grey murky self, for this I was grateful. At least if I was being made to move to a place were the weather would reflect my mood; unlike Phoenix, which was always so sunny it could make your head ache.

I saw Charlie standing next to his cruiser, and dragged my suitcase and bag over to meet him. I felt bad that my mother had decided to force me upon Charlie, just because she couldn't cope did not mean that he could any better.

We greeted each other with not only a little awkwardness, but also some embarrassment about showing our feelings. Although a few months ago I would have been bounding with joy and excitement to be on a new adventure. When we had put my luggage in the cruiser we started heading back to Forks. The ride home was very slow. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop car. My dad is the police chief of Forks my new home for the next year or so. Due to the car we are in we didn't even reach the speed limit, let alone go over it. Great, I thought, this was going to be a long ride back.

We eventually made it back to Charlie's, my home now as well I guess, about half an hour longer than it should have taken us. I stared at the once familiar house noting all the differences, the biggest being the old scary looking Chevy in the drive. Charlie saw me looking at it with confusion; he cleared his throat and addressed the floor.

"Yeah, that's a welcome home present for you honey. It doesn't look like much, but it works. And it should be safe enough even for you," he chuckled at his own wit. If only he knew.

I didn't know what to say, on one hand it'd be great not to be driven in his cruiser everywhere, on the other I didn't deserve this. Did he not know what I'd done, what I was? But I didn't want to upset him, I made myself a promise a week ago that I wouldn't upset or hurt anyone ever again, so I plastered a huge smile on my face and reached over to hug him.

"Wow, thanks dad that's amazing, can't wait to try it out!" I squealed, my face hurting as I kept up the horrible smile.

He blushed slightly and tapped me lightly on the arm in response to my hug, it seemed that Charlie couldn't bear to touch me either.

"Come on then, I'll show you to your room. Dare say you're tired after the flight?"

I nodded, nothing could be further from the truth but I really needed to be alone. I followed him up the old worn staircase to my old bedroom. My room was a fair size, painted purple with new purple sheets on the single bed in the center of the room. To the left of my bed, near the window was a brand new desk and shelving unit. Opposite were a wardrobe and a chest of draws, in the room was also my rocking chair that I remembered from being a very small child. It was basic but comforting and my heart, feeling numb so much of the time recently, swelled so that it hurt at the realization that dad had done all this for me.

I turned to face Charlie. "Thanks dad," I said in a low, choked voice. He nodded in return, a small smile upon his face.

"Well I'll leave you to unpack, call if you need anything. Night Bells."

With that he was gone. I made my way back over to my new bed and looked around; maybe Forks wouldn't be so bad after all.

This thought didn't last long as soon the memories assaulted me as they always did when I was alone and had nothing to distract me.

_Bitch, this is all your fault!_

_Who would want you now?_

_Slag._

_Murderer._

I curled up in a ball on my bed, would Charlie really want me in his house if he knew what I had done, what I was capable of? No of course he wouldn't, who would? Like _he_ said no one would want me ever again. I finally let myself give into the misery and cried myself to sleep as I had done every night for the last month. Praying as always that the pain would stop and I wouldn't wake up. My first night in Forks was no different to my nights at home.

I woke up too early to really even think about getting up and ready. Even so I decided that I would get ready for my first day at Forks High School, after last nights nightmares I really didn't want to go back to sleep. I thought vaguely of making a proper breakfast for Charlie to give me something to do before it was time to make my way. This plan however had to be dismissed shortly after as I looked out the window only to see his cruiser gone, Charlie must start work at the crack of dawn.

I made my way slowly downstairs after getting ready for school. I made myself pop-tarts for breakfast, noticing whilst I did that the cupboards were shockingly under stocked. I made a quick decision to do the shopping, cooking and general household duties from now on; Charlie was obviously not that adept when it came to housework. It made no difference really I had always done the housework in Phoenix anyway, at least that was something to occupy my time.

I looked up at the clock in the kitchen that my mother had obviously brought while she still lived here, and was shocked to see that it was almost time to leave. I ran back up the stairs to my room to grab my bag, tripping back down the stairs in my haste to try my new vehicle, it was only when I grabbed on the banister that stopped me falling all the way to the bottom.

I locked up the house and stumbled to my brand new truck. I settled myself into the surprisingly comfortable drivers' seat and started the truck; the roar of the engine startled me. I put my monster of a truck into drive and made my way toward the school.

School for me had always been a relief from my home life, I had actually enjoyed going to school, I was popular, clever, a cheerleader, I loved it, but since…. No I couldn't think about that now. I was sure that from now on school would just be varying degrees of crap. I was a good student so I really didn't think that my classes would be a problem. No, I actually thought that the problem would be the other students; I would be the shiny new toy, meaning that I would be the subject of gossip and much interest. I didn't want that, I didn't want people to take notice, I didn't want friends or even acquaintances, I have already proved that I didn't deserve them. I just wanted to blend into the grey backdrop for once, just how hard was that going to be.

I made the turn off into Forks High School; dread filling the pit of my stomach. I pulled out my keys after I had parked next to the collection of buildings. I climbed out of the cab and walked towards my own personal hell.


	2. Chapter 2 avoidance

Avoidance

**I still own nothing, it's all Stephanie's!**

**I want to thank my amazing beta Orangegirlie **** She rocks! **

It was even worse than I had thought that it could be. I received my schedule, a map of the school and a slip for all of my teachers to sign from a kind-looking, plump woman called Mrs. Cope, and headed to my first class; English, in building three. Small towns really were as boring as I had thought they would be, luckily boring was wanted at the moment.

As I headed to the building with a large three on it – seriously why did I need a map for a school this size – I noticed that everyone I passed turned to stare at me. After I passed people huddled into groups and started whispering. So it was in a very paranoid state as I entered my empty English class; I was obviously early.

I took a seat in the corner at the very back of the room, hoping that I hadn't taken anyone's place; I slid down deep into the seat trying not to be noticed.

As the rest of the class entered it seemed to be working because no one even glanced at me or the corner I'm in, no one even approached the back. That is until a little black haired girl glided into the room. She was extremely thin, with short black hair sticking up and dark circles under her eyes, like she needed a good nights sleep. She danced over to the desk that I was currently occupying at with a slight frown on her face, which instantly changed into a giant smile as she sat next to me.

"Hi, I'm Alice, you must be Bella!" She trilled at me, her voice like a thousand bells all chiming at the same time.

I smiled timidly back at her.

"Err…. Yeah I'm Bella."

"How are you? Is this your first day? How are you enjoying Forks? You moved in with your dad didn't you? Where did you live before?" Her questions were endless without a pause in between them, I didn't know if she was actually expecting an answer from me or even which ones to answer.

"Erm…. Yeah I live with my dad." She looked at me with expectation and I realized the hyper pixie was actually expecting me to answer all her questions. "Err… Yeah it's my first day and I originally come from Phoenix."

Thinking back to my old life made me clam up. Alice seemed like a really nice girl but I couldn't get too friendly, I didn't deserve friends, I couldn't do this, I would only end up hurting her and she seemed like such a nice person to. So how did I get out of this without hurting her feelings?

I was watching Alice out of the corner of my eye whilst thinking of ways to avoid her without hurting her too much, when her eyes went strangely blank and glassy; it was as if she was in a very deep daydream which considering she was talking to me less than thirty seconds ago I found very odd. She very quickly snapped out of it with a little almost silent gasp and turned to look at me so fast that I couldn't discern the movement. This girl was getting weirder by the minute, but who am I to judge really?

"Bella, why don't you sit with me at lunch today? I won't take no for an answer." She added the last part forcefully as I had opened my mouth to decline.

How was I supposed to get out of this? Despite her size she looked fairly scary though I couldn't quiet work out why, add to that her quiet odd behavior and I was really worried about saying no to her! So I just nodded at her instead, maybe I could just go back to my truck at lunch. If I snubbed her she would probably get angry with me and would quit trying to be my friend. Although I didn't want her to be angry with me I knew being her friend would hurt her eventually. Yeah I would snub her instead, that would be best.

The lessons till lunch went by quiet quickly with few people trying to speak to me. It was somewhat easy to make them leave me by myself by giving monosyllabic answers and speaking in a dull monotone when asked a question. I think that most people thought that I was either extremely dull, a little slow or a mixture of the two and quickly left me alone.

At the end of Spanish, my last class before lunch, I left my class fully intending to go to my truck and listen to music or something. My plans were thwarted though as the girl from English, Alice, was leaning against the wall outside the classroom. Crap. Maybe not as easy as I had thought it would be; it was like she knew I was trying to avoid her.

"There you are Bella! Come on we can grab lunch together. Follow me, I'll show you to our table." She trilled at me in her melodic voice.

Yep, getting rid of Alice might take some harder tactics; the thought filled me with dread until I remembered I was doing it for her own good.

Edwards P.O.V.

I hated school, hated having to pretend I was a normal teenager, hated the monotony, but most of all I hated with a fiery passion having to listen to hormone addled teenage thoughts; all of which were repetitive and dull.

The big thing on all the cattle's minds today was the new girl, Belle or something like that anyway. It had their tiny human minds all riled up, though I did smile impishly at some of the thoughts (believe me not the norm). It appeared that Bella, not Belle was actually fairly dull, or some even thought a bit dim, she wouldn't be news for long. I did catch in the minds of those that had met her that she was actually quiet pretty, well for a human anyway.

We were sitting at our usual table in the back of the cafeteria, as far as away as we could get from the rest of the student body. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were already at the table, along with me, Alice's Spanish class had run over, again.

Jasper was thinking about how he would have to go hunting after school had let out, he was having trouble with the increased emotions and scents that they brought with them that the new girl had incited in the pathetic humans. He was annoyed with the girl for breaking his usual monotony and for making him feel like the weakest link –yet again. Rosalie was thinking about tuning the cars as she had just had some upgrades delivered to the house, and about how good she would look in her new overalls; Rosalie had no shame. Emmett was also thinking about hunting tonight, he was craving bear. I rolled my eyes at his thoughts; they were mostly always so simple. I usually stayed in his thoughts, except when he was being intimate with Rosalie.

I had a moment more notice than my siblings did, letting out at hiss as I heard Alice's thoughts. My family all turned to look at me wide eyed, it wasn't very often I displayed strong emotions and it was almost always a sign of trouble when I did.

"Alice has decided to befriend the new human; she is bringing her to sit with us for lunch." I hissed at my bewildered siblings, there faces became identical faces of shock and horror.

"Why? I love her and all, but I think she may have over-stepped the boundaries this time. Edward you are going to have to listen closely to the human and see what her reaction to us is." Jazz spoke at me in our natural speed. I nodded in answer; of course I would look, I had to protect us.

"This should be funny. Anybody want to bet how long it will take her to leave?" Sneered Rosalie, she was really un-happy having anyone try to invade our family as she saw it. "And no cheating!" She looked sternly at Jazz as she said this.

"Hell yeah, I'm all for that! Ten minutes and only because she'll want to seem polite she'll want to leave after two!" Cackled Emmett; handing over a fifty to Rose.

"Hmm…. Twenty then she'll make an excuse and leave." Jazz said handing over his note.

"I say less five minutes max." I chuckled joining in with the immaturity, it was a better lunch than normal when we could joke with each other, at least the new girl brought some thing fun to our table, her un-ease.

We were all still laughing as Alice walked over with the new girl Bella, her head down her eyes firmly on the floor; this was going to be an easy buck.

_Whoa! _Thought Jasper turning to look at me so I knew this was for me to hear. _This girl has some serious issues man. She's pouring out guilt, self-loathing and hurt like I've never felt before. There's not one good emotion coming from her at all. I think Alice might have seen something to do with her, something bad, as Alice is giving out worry big time for this girl! _Jasper had a deep frown and a very worried expression as he was thinking this to me. I nodded again slightly letting him know I was listening.

Alice and Bella had joined our table. Bella was completely different than she was in the thoughts of the other students' minds. She was exceptionally beautiful, by far she was the prettiest human I had ever met; but she had deep dark shadows under her endless brown eyes that could rival even ours. She was also very thin, dangerously so my medical training noted. I frowned as she sat in the chair next to me her scent was weak but mouth watering, venom filled my mouth but I shook it off; I wasn't thirsty, but it was more than that, I did not want to hurt this beautiful creature, I wanted to … protect her. What? No that couldn't be right. I decided to look into her mind so that the interest that I had in her would disperse with her boring human thoughts.

No! No! How could this be happening? I couldn't hear her, not even a murmur. I tried harder straining my gift, something I had never had to do before. Even then there was nothing, just silence; it was as if the chair next to me was empty. I had to talk to her, maybe there was something wrong with her, mentally, which is why I couldn't hear her.

Alice smiled at us all. "Guys this is Bella; Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Edward," She introduced us, and quickly explained, "my family."

Bella glanced at us all as we were introduced her heart thumping unevenly as she looked at Emmett and stopping all together when her eyes locked with mine. Shit. She had the most stunning eyes I have ever seen in my existence. They were a deep, rich brown, which seemed to go right through to her very soul. It made me ache to see them so emotionless.

"Hi Bella." I said to her, wanting to hear her voice. As I spoke her heart beat an uneven rhythm, speeding up unhealthily. She lurched sideways as though she were going to pass out, her face full of heartbreak and misery. I reached out on instinct to steady her.

As my skin touched hers a spark emitted between us seeming to come from within both of us, and break over us where we were touching, it was a visible electric blue that was gone in a second.

I looked at this girl, her eyes met mine shocked, confused and scared.

_Holy shit! _Thought Alice, just as Bella pulled free of me, jumped to her feet, and ran out of the cafeteria. I stood to follow her, not even aware of what I was doing, when Alice grabbed me and screamed _NO Edward not yet_ at me in her head.

Emmett looked at Alice and I; he then voiced the question we all wanted to know the answer to. "What the fuck just happened?"

Bella's P.O.V.

I walked to the cafeteria with Alice, she was talking a mile a minute as she had in English, there was no-way I could escape today, and I would have to come up with a better plan for tomorrow. This thought made me sad, it would be great to have a friend, but what was the point in having a friend if you couldn't talk to them or if you hurt them just by being there?

We had reached Alice's table by now, and I was slightly taken aback to see that her table was almost full, and slightly intimidated if I was being honest.

. "Guys this is Bella; Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Edward," She introduced the table and explained to me, "my family." I was slightly taken aback by this, I didn't realize they would all be Alice's siblings, though judging by the way she was looking at the one called Jasper he was definitely not blood related. I took in the others round the table. Rosalie was the most gorgeous person I had ever seen, even more beautiful then the air brushed cover models of Vogue. She seemed to sneer at me slightly as she coolly looked back. Fair enough I deserved it and worse, she seemed to see through me to what I really was, the soulless monster inside. Emmett was sitting next to Rosalie, I didn't think that they were related either, not the way they were curled around each other. If Rosalie was the most beautiful person I had ever met then Emmett was the biggest, he had rolls of thick muscle on his arm. I shuddered slightly; this man could hurt me worse than _he_ ever had. I quickly threw that thought out of the window after looking at his childish friendly face; I instinctively knew he wouldn't hurt me. He was more like a big teddy bear. I next looked at Edward and the whole world stopped.

Everything stopped, including my heart. He was an Adonis he was beautiful, his features seemed to be carved in stone, a masterpiece even Michelangelo couldn't sculpt. His hair was the most unusual striking bronze color I had ever seen. But it was his eyes that caught me and made me falter.

I stared into his molten golden eyes and I swore I could see into his very soul, I saw he was the best person I could ever hope to meet - he was perfect. It was like becoming whole. As I stared into this glorious mans soul I swore he was doing the same to me. My heart stuttered at that, if he could see into my soul he was sure to hate me. My soul was black as coal; _he _had proven that, I had demonstrated that. What was I thinking; this perfect, amazing being couldn't have anything to do with me.

As this ran through my mind he seemed to snap out of what ever had come over us. "Hi Bella." His words were my undoing, if I thought that Alice's voice was musical it was nothing compared to Edwards voice, it was deep smooth velvet. I fell apart, how could I be with an angel –for surely he could be nothing else – when I was a monster? Having this epiphany was too much, I thought I was going to pass out; I wavered in my seat; that's when it happened.

Edward reached out to steady me. Where his ice cold skin met mine a spark, an electric blue spark erupted, it was there for less than a second, but I knew without a doubt that I hadn't imagined it. My heart broke and I knew I had to get away before I hurt this archangel, it didn't matter that I was hurting I had to protect him. I got up and ran before I ruined everything, my very soul shattering as I did.

**Pretty Pretty please review with Edward on top **


End file.
